Yes, I know I am impatient

So I woke up at 330am today and had to pee. I tried to tell myself to go back to sleep. I tried to talk myself into just getting up to pee and coming back to bed. But I didn't. I decided to take a test. I am 12 DPO (days past ovulation) according to the estimated ovulation date on day 33 of this cycle. (I am now on day 45.) It would be day 12 of the luteal phase and that seemed longer than last month's so I went for it.

I did wipe first before opening the test, just to see if I even needed to take it. Each time I go to the bathroom I examine the toliet paper closely for any kind of sign that my period may be starting. I know, I'm weird but it's an obsession now. No signs on the toilet paper this morning so I took the test. After waiting the necessary 2 mins I looked and...... negative. I really expected that but somehow your hopes are still let down each time. I did read the instructional paperwork as I waited and it indicated that only about 50% will get a positive 5 days before their expected period. The percentage increases to about 80% the day before and even higher obviously after you actually miss your period. The paperwork suggested to wait 3 days and test again.

Then I took my temp this morning and it seems to still be up. It was 97.95F. I now need to be patient and see what happens. If the temps hold and the cycle stays away, maybe I'll test again on Wed/Thursday. The fertility.com site says I should wait to test until 2/14 (18DPO) given I don't have enough charted data to accurately predict my period and length of my luteal phase. I guess we will just see what happens and head to the Dr. in 5 days ;o) I can't believe I'm actually getting things moving.

I wanted to post an updated version of my temp chart to document. So, here it is....


Even if I do have another cycle. It will be a positive thing because I think the medicine is helping to regulate my cycle and make it more biphasic like it should be. After all the chart above looks much better than this one which was from the Nov-Dec cycle when I had my first period. Do you see the difference?



I may actually have to look into joining fertility.com for the charting if the Dr. wants me to continue. They look so much better than my little Excel charts and they calculate all the information for you. Hopefully the Dr. will be able to make some sense of them and teach me a bit about them.

To test or not to test?

That is the question I face right now. My temps are still elevated and holding, so I know (or can assume with relative certainty) one of two things: Either I am going to have another period or I am pregnant. I just don't know what to do.

So how long have my temps been elevated? Well, even that's hard to answer. They have been above 98 for 10 days now, but if you go by that fertility.com chart (see previous post) I ovulated 12 days ago. According to the interweb you can expect your period 12-14 days after ovulation. Again the interweb says the average luteal phase for a woman is 12-16 days and needs to be at least 10 days for implantation to occur. So I'm either sitting at day 10 or I'm sitting at day 12. Hmm....

Everything I read says that although the length of the leutal phase varies between women it will be the same for each specific woman's cycle month-to-month. Therefore you are supposed to use past cycles as an indication of how long your individual luteal phase is. Well, CRAP! I only have one past cycle to judge it on. According to that cycle, my temps were only up for 10 days before I got my period, but that cycle was also 54 days long. This one only has me at day 44 today. So, the overall cycle is getting shorter but since I don't have my period today, the luteal phase may be getting longer? Makes sense to me, maybe.

Well, I digressed. Back to the original question (When or if I should take a test). I have two left and one was given to me so it was free. If I go with the lowest possible number and use only days where my temp has been above 98 then I will be at day 12 on Sunday. Or do I wait till day 16 and use the highest number? Funny thing about doing that would be that if I test on day 16 (and don't have my cycle yet and my temps are still elevated) then that puts me on Thursday Feb 12th. Doesn't that date sound familiar? It should. It's my consultation appointment with Dr. Jarrett, the fertility specialist. Wouldn't that just be crazy finding out your pregnant on the day you were scheduled to go see a specialist? HA!

So, anyways, whatever happens happens. I will be in a good place either way. If the test is negative (or I get my period) then I will still be excited since it appears my body is normalizing. Plus I will have my dr. appt later in the week to look forward to. And if I don't get my period and the test swings the other way, well, then that would be great, but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. (It would also scare the crap out of me since miscarriages are common with PCOS due to fluctuations in hormone levels.)

So, today my mind swims with questions....
To test or not to test?
To be or not to be (a mother)?

Synced up cycles

So my very good friend and I used to be synced up on our cycles. Just like they say happens. Granted we were both on the pill but somehow we were synced. Then I went off the pill and so did she. She got pregnant and I didn't have a period. We used to joke that it was because she was pregnant and my cycle was waiting for her to come back. After she had her wonderful daughter, she got her cycle back (again with the pill) and I still had nothing. However, now with my meds and my cycle coming back, it has somehow decided to sync back up with her again. She has hers and I'm expecting mine by Friday. (That's really only two days away.) I have a feeling that if I go another month or two and continue to have my cycles that they will completely sync back with hers. Strange how that works.

Random question

If you try for one year to get pregnant and don't conceive then you are considered infertile (or can go for fertility assistance). So, if you have tried for one year and get pregnant (with the assistance.) Then the next time you want to get pregnant again, do you have to wait another year? If so, I'm putting my one year notice in the second I get pregnant! It would however make more sense to just be immediately referred to the specialist the second time and not have to wait that year again...hmm... maybe I'll have to ask about this at my appointment next week. (YEP folks I said NEXT WEEK!)

Okay and following up on today's earlier blog, did that lady have a waiting period for her IVF? I should have lied about being married to a wonderful and loving man and wanting to start a family. I should have simply requested some IVF and made Clay my "sperm donor." Would that have been any faster? (HA! Again you can see that this just irks me. How in the world do you spell irk?)

When is enough enough?

So there is a current news story that seems to be all the buzz right now. However, it is driving me crazy!!! It brings mixed emotions that I am unable to pinpoint. It baffles me and I am unable to focus my thoughts in any one direction. I have so many questions.

So here is the deal.......
A woman in California just gave birth to octuplets. Seems simple enough. Good for her.

She had them through the use of IVF.
Okay, usually don't end up with that many on IVF because you can selectively implant, but whatever. Maybe this was her only chance to have any kids, and she wanted as many as possible.

She already has 6 other children ranging in age from 2 to 7.
WHAT! This is where I start to lose it. Are you kidding me? Why does someone with 6 children need any more. How in the world will she support them all financially? Now don't get me wrong if you have the means to do it, more power to you but I expect all of them to be well cared for and educated.

She had all of her other children through IVF as well.
Okay, really? What kind of medical insurance does she have? We have a good package at work and it only does up to 4 rounds of IVF. Who in the world is her provider? Where does she work? Does she even work? One article quoted the grandmother saying the woman "paid for the in vitro fertilization with money from a legal settlement after a work accident." Now there's putting your money to good use. Why don't you take care of your other six kids.

She is a single mother.
OMG! You are flipping kidding me! How in the world does she think she can do this as a single mom? Is she crazy? Has anyone tested her mental capacity as a mother? I think they should have tests for that. It could be in the fertility paperwork before IVF. You have to be approved to adopt so why don’t you have to be approved for IVF when you already have 6 kids?

She used the same sperm donor for all 14 kids.
Oh well, why didn’t you say that? It makes it all better. 14 kids without the influence of a father figure. At least they don’t have to ask each other, “Who’s your daddy?” They already know it’s the same mysterious sperm donor. (okay I’m a bit mean now.)

The mother checked into the hospital in her 23rd week of pregnancy and gave birth seven weeks later. All eight babies will probably remain in the hospital for at least two months and the mother should be released in a week.
Really, who pays for this? If you say taxpayers, then I may lose it.

It's unclear how she plans to support her huge family. Her parents (whom she lives with) have had financial problems. The octuplets are all preemies and will likely require extra care. The mother once had a license as a psychiatric technician but that expired. In recent years, she's been an unemployed student. The mother has hired an agent, and there are reports she hopes to make money through TV interviews and even by working as an on-camera childcare expert.
I feel like this is exploitation. I mean if you are an unmarried, unemployed student with 6 children living at home with your parents, is this your golden ticket to fame? I wish the world would stop talking about it and stop giving her props for a job well done. Let's not give her anything for free and watch the harsh reality of the world set it for the choices she made consciously. (Okay now I'm really mean.)

My thoughts have turned to anger so I guess it's time to stop blogging for now. I just feel bad. It's not fair. All the women in the world that want kids, even just 1 kid and can't have them and now this lady has 14 that she can't support. What about mother's that have recently lost their babies? Women in healthy and happy stable relationships in a loving home with a steady income to support new life that don't have any small bundles of joy. What about them? And why didn't this lady just adopt if she only wanted one more child? What doctor agreed to do all of this and didn't say "Hey look lady! I don't recommend this." Why do her parents continue to support her? I understand supporting the children cause they are innocent in all of this but come on, some one, anyone, where is the logic? Where is the common sense? Where is the accountability for it all? I am confused and bewildered and have lost my train of thought. This just eats me from the inside and I struggle to pinpoint why I let it irk me so bad.....

Temps on the rise and holding...

So I am still charting. I found a new tool online that will interpret the temps and estimate the day of ovulation. Here is my current chart. Day 1 was on Dec 25th when my Christmas gift came. Now I am on day 40 and expecting a cycle by week's end. According to the chart, I ovulated on day 33. My cycle should be about 45 or 46ish days long. Hopefully getting shorter and shorter. Just wanted to share since I think my VIP membership for fertilityfriend.com expires by March.