Mother's Day

I wasn't quite sure how I was going to feel on Mother's Day this year. I barely remember Mother's Day last year. Yes, officially we were trying to conceive but I knew nothing would happen last year. In fact, I was just taking my first prescription of Provera for my "fake" period. This year was different.
I went to church like normal. I was scared for the moment I knew would come when the pastor had all the mothers stand and the congregation gave them all a round of applause. When will it be my turn to stand? Why could I not keep those few tears from sneaking out the corner of my eye? I tried so hard, but failed. I also failed to keep from crying during the Mother's Day video before the sermon and the video from the Single Mom's Morning Out they showed after the service. Can you have tear ducts removed? I should look into that... well, anyways.... I said my "Happy Mother's Day!" to friends and ladies at the church and smiled with their returns. Some ladies simply smiled and said "Thank you." Others said "You have a nice day." But, still others replied with "Happy Mother's Day to you too." Odd? Is this a normal response? Do they know that I'm a mother at heart but not "technically" one in the flesh? Is this what is said every year but I never noticed until now... why did it bother me coming from some people and not from others? This year was different. Weird and different.
I was surprised to get a text from a wonderful friend about a "package" she had left on my door. I was blessed with my very first Mother's Day card. I cried (Big surprise there, right? HA!). It was touching. It was heartfelt and sincere. It was like a big ole' hug after a bad day and settled the confusion from all the "Mother's Day" wishes at church. Clay didn't understand why I was given a Mother's Day card. Maybe guys just don't get it. It is a very nice card and will be cherished forever. The handwritten note inside will also be cherished! Thank you dear friend! YOU mean a lot to me and I hope you know that!!! An additional friend did give me a card and a small box of chocolates. It wasn't technically a Mother's Day card but she did wish me "Happy Mother's Day" when she gave it to me at church. Also a nice gesture from a good friend. So, I lost my train of thought but I can really sum it all up in three words... "It was different." Definitely different........