The final countdown..... 5 hours....

SO I am physically at work today but I'm not so sure I am mentally here. Actually I am not sure that I've mentally been at work for awhile. Anyways, it seems I have a ton of mixed emotions today. I should be excited, but I don't feel that. I feel nervous, anxious, paranoid?, dread?, and others I can't put my feelings on. I think it's my mental preparation to not expect too much from today. I have myself completely convinced that nothing will be gained today. Generally I am not this pessimistic of a person. After all, I am usually Suzie Sunshine! Maybe I will feel better after the appointment. I am torn with wether or not to return to work today. I don't want to use the PTO but I don't think I want to come back to work either (or work tomorrow afternoon.) Maybe if I'm in a good mood after the appointment I can come back in, maybe, just maybe. So it's actually less than 5 hours and the more I start to think of the day ahead, my head starts to hurt. I do pray for patience today. As I gathered my paperwork and notebook last night, I was struck that there really wasn't much in there. Just my timeline, my temp charts, my test result, Clay's test results, and the packet of paperwork that I sent in last month. However, it's all in a nice pink folder ready to go. It's laying with a notebook so I can take notes and write down questions. I guess I just don't know what to expect and the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering around. Keep your fingers crossed and I will post an update later.