I'm not quite sure how to say this but it has been bouncing around my head since this morning. I don't want this post to be a downer so please don't get me wrong....
Why do new moms (or maybe just all moms) feel guilty at times?
I felt guilty last night getting frustrated with Kenley when she wouldn't go back to sleep. Actually she just wouldn't go to sleep at all. She had a fussy day and then her normal fussy time from 8-11 turned into 9-almost 1am. She wouldn't eat and she wouldn't cuddle. All she would do is fuss. I'd try to feed her and she would claw at my chest. (Side note: those little fingernails are like burning knives when they hit your nipple too.. OUCH) I finally put her in the baby straight jacket, I mean Miracle Blanket and SHHH'd her to sleep. Only to have her sleep 5 hours (Yes I said 5 hours. She is a good sleeper if you get her down) and then feel guilty when I woke up that she should have eaten at some point in the last 5 hours. (No she didn't wake up or cry so I know she wasn't hungry but I still feel guilty.) I can't win. There is guilt both ways. Weird!
And that's not just it. I feel guilty for not holding her enough, not playing with her, putting her in her swing so I can pump, eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, or what not. Oh and then I feel guilty about the whole pumping thing. I haven't pumped in the past few days. I just don't want to. I feel guilty about that too. I have no way to explain why. I feed her, bathe her, change her, cuddle her, adore her and LOVE her but there is just still some guilt there. I know that I am doing the best I can and I know that I am a good mom but it's so weird that the guilt (or maybe it's just uncertainty) sneaks in at times.
Hopefully it will pass. I'll take the good days and the bad and try not to feel guilty about the bad ones.
About Me
- Kim
- I am 32 years old. I have a wonderful husband, an energetic almost 2 year old, a newborn baby boy, and an old spoiled cat. I do not have a "filter" so usually whatever I am thinking is generally what I will say. Sometimes that is a good thing and other times it makes life even more interesting. This is the story of our journey to parenthood and now our journey through parenthood. Never a dull moment!
Alissa and Nathan's wedding Aug 08
5 comments:
Oh Kim, we've all been through it. The guilt never really goes away! Sounds like you are doing just fine. I remember weeks 4-6 being probably the toughest with Tyson because the initial adrenaline had worn off and I was just fatigued and wanted to SLEEP and had zero patience in the middle of the night. I got frustrated with him a couple times and felt bad later because he was just a needy little baby. But you can't really help it. And he was in the swing all the time too! Don't feel bad about it, you are doing great and it will get easier!
It is okay to take care of your needs, too, Kim. You should not feel guilty, it is just part of being a mom. These are the hardest times in my opinion and it gets easier once babies start sleeping through the night. I was never a fan of the newborn stage but I did not allow myself to feel guilty about that. Just enjoy it as it comes and know that you will only remember the good times, the bad ones just get lost. NOt sure want any advice from me seeing Alissa! HA
I like that the bad times somehow get lost. I can see that. Usually within a day or two I hardly remember what I felt so bad about. Thanks everyone!!
its perfectly normal..hang in there girl!!! :)
Oh,lovely daughter of mine.
We all went thru things like this. I cried for hours and hours when you were first born. You were jaundice and I had to lay you in the sun. (Back then they did things a whole lot different then now). Modern technology is much different, but our feelings are still all the same. You didn't mind laying there unclothe bathing in the sun, not even a diaper. (except under you).
You turned out okay, even tho your mother had the same fears and guilty feelings. You are a great mother! And trust me, you have to take care of YOU or how will you be there for that sweet granddaughter of mine?
I'm glad she slept 5 hours for you. You both needed that lovely sleep.
Love you both very, very much.
Grandma/Mom C
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