F.U.D.

A normal part of my visit to the doctor involves peeing in a cup, which for me unfortunately also involves peeing on part of my hand. (Gross I know, but hey it happens since I can't see the "target zone" with my belly in the way.) Now if I were a guy with a bigger belly I don't think I would have this problem since I could point the "shooter" directly into the cup, but us ladies don't have control of the stream in that manner, so I do my best. However, I had the brightest idea a few appointments ago and again yesterday. I can't claim the invention since it's already patented and available online, but I think I should promote their use to the doctor's office for sure. It would make my pre-appointment potty break a little easier and at times a little less disgusting.

I'm talking about providing each pregnant woman a F.U.D or Female Urination Device. There is a trendy one out there called a Go Girl and I think it would work beautifully. It's essentially just a funnel (which would prob work just the same.) It looks like this....
Okay so I know I'm strange, but I think this would make the blind target practice just a bit easier. Don't you? Their site says the "patented splash guard eliminates messing and spilling" and that using it "You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one." I don't think it has the extended use to spell my name in the snow (like men are supposed to like to do) but who needs that anyways? I just want to be able to provide my sample for the doctor without peeing on myself. Just a strange thought I have everytime I go to the doctor's office now.